life stinks,read the book!

You know God continues to amaze me. I have been preaching through the gospel of John for two and a half years now. Taking it a verse by verse and digging into all the goodness it has to offer. Over the last month there have been three verses that have especially become very meaningful to me in light of the death of my dad. It’s so amazing that just by “accident” (no accident but God sovereign will) I have been studying these passages at the same time that he died. They are found in John 13 and 14. I hope as I share them with you, they might also bring much joy and hope to you.

The first is John 13:7 which says “Jesus answered him, "What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand." He was washing the disciples feet and Peter did not understand why Jesus would do this. So Jesus makes something clear to Peter. Peter you won’t get this right now but afterword you will. You know what I really didn’t understand why my dad died when he did. I have a sister that I know really needed more time with him. There was a  grand baby coming that he was supposed to meet. The three d’s were supposed to go to dozens of Michigan games together. Maybe he was even supposed to see D III play in the big house (hey a dad can dream cant he). He was supoosed to see a grandson graduate from the Marines. The list goes on and on. This doesn’t even begin to address the whole retirement and growing old together aspect he was going to do with my step mom. But you know what, what God allows we don’t always understand but there comes a time in which we do understand. I will be honest I still don’t understand fully but I understand more today than I did on Jan 25^th. It still doesn’t make complete sense but it make more sense today than it did then. Maybe today you are experiencing something that doesn’t make sense and you are wondering what God is up to, be patient you might not understand now but afterword you will understand.

The second is John 14:26 which says, “ But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” Here Jesus is letting the 11 know that right now this doesn’t make sense(Jesus was going to die, he was going to the cross and was going to leave them they didn’t get it though) but there is coming a time when it will. Jesus is telling them that the Holy Spirit is going to come and when that happens he says he will teach you and bring to your remembrance all that I have said. So in essence Jesus was saying in time you will remember all that I taught you and the words that I have spoken to you will come to mind. I believe this is still a ministry of the Holy Spirit today, not only with scripture but I do believe that the Holy Spirit reminds us of the words of those who taught us in life. These verses became so real to me about two weeks ago while I was on the treadmill. After our trip to Israel and my dad’s death, my knee that I had my ACL repaired seemed to have regressed and for a couple of weeks after the trip and his funeral I was in much pain. I remember one day while on the treadmill I was jogging and had been jogging for about ten minutes when I just felt like it was pointless, like my knee would forever be hurt and I just wanted to get off and quit. Then the words of my dad came to me, “Finish what you start son, never give up.” I was brought into remembrance of when my dad would have me push his white tracer up and down the street while he was in it, to get ready for football season. “Come on Nooner”, he would say. “Finish what you start, son.” “Son you are stronger than you know, now push this blank car down the street.” As I wanted to quit that day those words came into remembrance, I felt as if my dad was right there with me. This is grand of God to give us such power through the Holy Spirit. One thing I was so afraid of is that I would forget my dad, forget his face, forget his voice, forget his words, forget his love, forget his wisdom. I was reminded through this verse that as the Holy Spirit is in me and working in me, He will help me not to forget but to remember. Like I said God never ceases to amaze me.

The last one is John 14:28 which says, “ You heard me say to you, 'I am going away, and I will come to you.' If you loved me, you would have rejoiced, because I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I.” Actually this hit me like a ton of bricks last night. Jesus says to the 11 I am going to die and if you loved me you would rejoice, because I am going to the Father. It helped me put my dad’s death back into the right perspective. I had a horrible week last week . I was allowing myself to be down, allowing my problems to swallow up my faith. Funny thing is my wife asked me all last week if I was Ok, she said you seem so sad. I told her she crazy I’m fine. What a fool of a man not to heed the advice of a Godly wife. This verse got me and my dads death back in perspective. Sure be sad; still take my “five minutes “as he told us to do. (He said take your five minutes and mourn but then get on with it and live over and over while dying.) But after that rejoice because my dad like Jesus went to the Father and the Father is the greatest thing possible. He is greater than Christ and greater than life. He is greater than seeing Michigan play football, He is greater than seeing babies being born and He is greater than growing old with the one he loves. So it refocused me. This verse helped close up that hole in my heart that satan tries to keep open. I am not sure if you are in need of a readjustment, if so I hope that maybe these three verse will come alive to you like they did for me. I will finish with this thought. My dad while on his death bed said much, one thing he came back to was telling my family and myself to read the book(referring to the bible). He would say just read the book, just read the book all the answers you need are in there, they are right there in the book. So just read the book and you’ll be OK. As usual pops you were wise and right. Go Blue, Semper Fi and I love you pops. P.S I’m still reading the book.

Right Around The Corner!

This last Sunday was March 4^th 2012.  It was the 12^th anniversary of the day that our daughter, Alexis Joy, died while sleeping on my chest.  This year remembering her death was a little different.  It was the first time without my dad.  It was neat to see the way that God put this day together so that people’s hearts would be strengthen and encouraged through his and her death.  I have been preaching through the gospel of John for over 2 year now and as we came to March 4^th the text we came to was John 14.  This is what it says, "Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me.  (2)  In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?  (3)  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.  (4)  And you know the way to where I am going."  (5)  Thomas said to him, "Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?"  (6)  Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  John 14:1-6.  How amazing.  I tried to put the thoughts together like this, On March 4th 2000 a baby girl died so that this man would be saved and so that 12 years later on the day he would preach do not let your hearts be troubled, all to the glory of God, to help those whose hearts are troubled.”  That was my heart’s desire as I came to this day, that hearts would be strengthened and encouraged and lifted up as I preached the gospel and preached from some of my pain and hurt.  There is a saying that we have at the Noonkester house that goes like this, one minute we will be here the next we won’t.   Being pastor kids my kids are very familiar already of the concept of death, but the reason we say it is so that we are preparing them for the time when we die.  We think we have forever to live but we don’t.  I remember in early January as my dad was recovering in the hospital,  he told my sister and myself, “There is coming a time when you are going to have to bunker down and live without me.”  On the way home from that trip after they determined that my dad was going to be Ok Ari said, “you know dad you are right one minute we will be here and the next we won’t, this is true for granddad to isn’t it.”  She realized what we have been telling her, death is coming for us all.  I did not think I would have had to bunker down so soon but I did.  So on March 4^th there one thing I particularly missed and that was a hug.  Not that I would have got it from my dad that day.  But that was one thing my heart ached for on that day because I remembered the hug that we shared the day that she died.  We embraced and he held me so tight at that hospital when we heard what we knew was coming.  He held me and he wept with me and he then told me it’s going to be OK.  That is what my heart ached for the most this last Sunday, just one last hug.  It took my thoughts back to the Monday when we flew in from Israel to be with him as he died.  When we got there we embraced again and I wept again and again he told me, son it’s going to be OK.  You know what he was right.  There is so much I miss already.  There is so much I wish for, like just one hug, just one word, just one smile, that list goes on.  But you know what its ok.  This week I have watched video of my dad that was taken while he we was at the hospital.  He said something that gives me encouragement.  He said, you know I love y’all, but you have to realize I’m right around the corner.”  Amen.  This is what I am living my life for so I can turn that corner some day and be with not only him, but other loved ones and msot of all Jesus Chrsit.  This is what gives me hope, give me strength and what heals my broken heart when I have those moments that I long for a hug or a go blue or a I love you son.  I am not sure where you are at as you read this.  Maybe life is prefect maybe it’s not.  Either way I leave you with this great reminder.  Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Believe in Jesus and believe in God.  When you do this everything you have ever needed or desired will be right around the corner.